It's been three weeks...

since my healing Sunday... and a lot has changed, thanks be to God. I am so thankful for what the Lord has done I can't even begin to put it into words. I am back to work, I have gained two pounds, I feel healthier, I look healthier, and I don't take things for granted like I used to. Plus, my speech is better, if you get my drift. The Lord really came in and turned this old girl's heart around, I still have a long way to go, don't we all, but I feel closer than I have ever felt. Thank you Jesus!

a little rambling this morning...

You ever notice how we hate to wait? Waiting is so intense, it requires so much of ourselves on every level. I spoke with a friend last night who is waiting on the Lord, there are people pulling to the left and pulling to the right but she is standing firm and she is waiting. When someone comes to me and asks me what i think they should do in a particular situation I always say it is better to wait upon the Lord than to make a rush to judgment and get out of His Will. I have been out of His Will and I have to say that was the darkest time in my life. I scratched and clawed trying to get back to Him after what was one of the more foolish decisions I ever made, but I've learned a great lesson. He taught me through my stubbornness behavior and intent on having my way that it is better in HIS way and timing and now in my older and wiser age, I am much more cautious about obeying and staying within the borders that He has set for me.
The truth is that I have not been the same since that Saturday home from the hospital. Nothing has been the same as it was and I think it took that for the Lord to get through to me. Now I am even more determined to stay with Him. You know those "kiddie leashes" that parents have, you see them sometimes in the Mall, the child is wandering about and from their wrist is a string or leash. When the child gets too far away the parent just tugs on it and the child knows he or she has gone too far. I pray that sometimes the Lord will put me on a spiritual kiddie leash and tug at me when I get too far away from where He wants me to be. Lord I know that You will never leave me nor will You forsake me, You sent Your Son to die in my place... but the fear I have is that I will wander off and I pray that You will not let me leave You and never allow me to forsake You. This is my greatest prayer... "I will seek You in the morning and I will learn to walk in Your Way and step by step You'll lead me and I will follow You all of my days".

Tuesday...

Daddy is off again to Tennessee, I pray that he could get a little closer to home. But it is going to be a busy week and that is a good thing. First of all, I have been feeling great and I thank God for that, it was a week Saturday that I got out of the hospital, I won't ever forget that day for sure. I was talking with my Mom the other day and she told me about her incident before she came to The Lord. She had shingles for nearly a year and she she said it was one of the worst experiences ever. She had a similar experience as I did with the praying all night, thankfully my incident was only an evening. But she said that she made the decision to follow GOD through all of that and she has continued in that walk since that time and soon my Dad jumped on board, so Praise The Lord! He has sustained her for many years now to serve Him and that has been my prayer.
I am so grateful for my health and for the health of my family. Thank you Lord...

important thing #1

When your child brings you "flowers" early in the morning that he picked "just for you"...

It's been a good day...

6:30 pm... This is the time of day when everything starts winding down. Daddy is gone again tonight, in Tennessee, I pray that he gets a job closer to home, I know he has to work but it gets pretty lonely down here in the country when he isn't here. You know, when I had to go to the hospital, he was right by my side, actually every time I have had to go to the hospital, which is 4 times now since we have been married. This last time, however he didn't get there for a bit and I was so stressed out. I knew that once he got there I would be okay because he always stayed right with me and asks all the right questions. Anyhow, I miss him when he isn't home and so do the kids.
I talked with Pam today, her mother had to go to the ER, that is so scary so I pray for her very quick recovery and for Pam as she travels to see her. We got the newspaper today and saw Granny's obituary, Jessi was so upset. It is like a bad dream, though. We passed her house and it just doesn't seem real yet that she isn't there.
I have worked today on photos, I have felt pretty good today, I still don't feel 100% but I know that I am getting stronger everyday, I can feel it. I am so grateful to The Lord for restoring me and helping me to feel well. I cannot even begin to tell you how terrible I felt the day that I got out of the hospital this last time. It was the Saturday of the Pie Supper in Provo and I wanted to go so bad. Before we left the hospital, the nurse gave me two medications in my IV and they didn't kick in on me until about thirty minutes after we were discharged. Man!!!!! It was rough! Chris stopped by Kroger to get some stuff and I couldn't even get out of the car. When we finally did get home which seemed like the longest drive ever, I took a hot shower and got in bed. For the next five hours, I lay in the bed with the 'jitters' (which is a pitiful word for what I actually had) and could not sleep at all. Every time I got into a comfortable position, my whole body would tense up and my chest would hurt. FIVE HOURS!!!!! I lay there in the bed listening to Chris watching TV in the next room and listening to Jessi and him talk about going to the pie supper. I couldn't do anything, I just laid there, I think at one point, I did cry but I was so out of it that I don't remember. The one thing I remember that I did do is that I prayed A LOT!!!! And I asked the Lord to help me get strong and after I was advised that I could take an Ambien, I fell asleep. Praise the Lord, I fell asleep! When I woke up at 6 am that is when I did some serious praying. I asked the Lord to please help me because I needed to be able to keep up with my gang and be well and like I said in my first post, He did. He answered me and I told Him that if He would help me I would do whatever He wanted me to do, and so I am trying to keep my word. I have decided to not take anymore Ambien because, well, they are bad news, at least they are for me and I have given up a lot of other things that were EXTREMELY bad for me, and I feel so thankful. I guess that is really what this whole blog is about. It's not really about what I do everyday or whatever, it is about How the Lord is moving each day and keeping me healthy and strong and how grateful I am to Him for that. So it may get a little boring to some but I feel like it is something that I have to do. I take things for granted a lot in my life and maybe this is a way for me to stop and reflect each day about Him and about the things that are really important. Like for instance being well enough to give Jack a warm bubble bath and watch cartoons until we fall asleep. That is something very important... more than sitting on the computer any longer today, so goodnight everyone. Sorry Daddy, but you aren't home so Jack is my buddy tonight.

Beautiful... and well said.

will miss Granny...

It's been a pretty good day... we did have to go to the funeral of my daughter's great-grandmother today and that was really tough. It makes you stop and take things into consideration. I got to see my brother that I never get to see which was wonderful. Got to go with him and Mom and have lunch which was really nice. I wish we could see each other more but that is just how it is. Anyhow, it has been a good day, other than the obvious sadness of saying goodbye to Granny, but I have felt less and less anxious than I have been feeling. "Daddy" is gone tonight, he is working in Danville, we miss him so much when he is gone but he will be home tomorrow evening. Jack had a rough day at daycare but that is Monday for ya! Not much else to report other than I am still feeling good and thankful to the Lord for restoring me. I am coming back, Praise God!!! Now if I could just get back on my feet enough to start back to work full time I will feel great, I know that will come in time and I have a lot on my plate in the next two months with senior portraits and Anti-Bridals and a few family sessions, plus a few weddings to boot! But I am not complaining, it is what I love to do and I can't wait to get back to doing it. Hope everyone has a great evening... and continue to pray for the Georgia "Granny" Minton family, their loss is devastating and it will take a while for the healing to be real but it will come just pray for the Peace of God to take hold in the meantime...

home from the hospital

I got home again from the hospital and what a night it was, I don't even like to think about what a miserable night it was, I spent the entire night praying, Lord Jesus if you will just help me be strong and healthy, and be able to keep up with the little yahoo's that I live with, I will be eternally grateful and I will do whatever you want me to do. I woke up this morning and I felt...... GOOD. Praise the Lord I felt good. I told everyone that I had the opportunity to tell "Praise the Lord, the Lord got me through all of this and I am just thankful to Him for that". You can laugh at me if you want but I sincerely mean it... no more abusing myself with anything that the Lord disapproves of, no more hurting myself to look a certain way, no more settling to respond or act to someone or a situation just to conform, no more. NO MORE! The Lord is who I am about now. I have too much to be grateful for and too many times He has pulled me out from the muck and the mire only to find me working my way right back into it. No more! I am going to do what He wants me to do and I don't care who likes it and what anyone thinks. Before one of my friends passed away earlier in the year she told me, "How did He do it? How did He hang on that cross for me... He is all I have now" He life was wrecked with constant pain and suffering, physical pain. She related to Jesus in that way and I thank Him for His Mercy in taking her home to be with Him... Now I relate to the fact that He came so that I may have life and have life more abundantly and I would be slapping the hand of God to not take advantage of the gift that He has given me and to stop wallowing in my own problems and daily despairs, but I should be thankful that I am well enough to pick up my husband's clothes and wash his dirty underwear and clean the bathtub and the toilet and do dishes and cook and serve themm as the Lord sees fit. This has been a wake up call for me and I hope that even just one other person can maybe get what I am saying and maybe they can stop and say, hey my life is not so bad, actually now that I think about it, it is pretty darned great because I am well, I am strong and I am a woman after God's own heart...

Blessings and Love.
Jules